To my beautiful blog

Dearest gently turquoise, beautifully colour coordinated green-gray blog,

I love you.

I'm so sorry that i have to say goodbye. Honestly, my emotion generating muscle is bleeding as i type.

Drip Drip Drip Splat Splosh Splaaaaoooodch. That's my blood, dripping on you.
Do you feel it?

THE GREAT FIREWALL OF CHINA has MERCILESSLY BANNED YOU! ALONG with Xanga, livejournal, wordpress, greatestjournal, GOOGLE!!!!!!!!!! WIKI!!!!!!!!!!!! you name it, they have probably banned it. Shoot me. really. shoot me now.

argh. I LOOOOOVEEEE YOOOOOUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!! WHY? WHY MUST I SAY GOODBYE?! WHY?! WHY?!

I apologise for being so angsty.

Well, i have to move you to diaryland... its the only one of your compatriots left...that i know of anyway. So goodbye my dearest... its better that we part now than later...

Please remember... you are the classiest.

Below is the link to an UGLY BLACK RED AND WHITE PAGE...

RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!! would someone like to teach me how to get rid of the BLOOODY RED words? :>

Well... bye. yes. bye. i'll be below from now on... i love you.. i'll be back in 4 years.

http://alisonleejy.diaryland.com/

Preparation for studying in China

Potential bribes to bring to china:

Bak Kwa
Expensive european chocolate
US dollars :>
Someone else's singaporean passport (will have to steal it though... mmm)
My soul -.-

Phrases i must learn to say with sincerity and a charming smile in order to survive in China:

老师今天好漂亮啊！You look beautiful today teacher!

哇！老师！你的车真是正点啊！WOW! Thats a great car teacher!

老师！这件事我等了好久，还没得到答复呀！你是我最尊敬的老师。你的慈悲，像觀音一样山高海深。帮帮忙吧！

Dearest teacher, i've waited for a really long time to get a response regarding this matter. You are my most respected teacher. Your benevolence is like Kwan Yin's, as high as a mountain, as deep as the sea. Please help me!

老师我叫李佳颖，来至新加坡。以后，要请你多多帮忙，佳颖对中国不太熟悉。

My name Lee Jiaying, I come from Singapore. Please guide me along in the future as i'm not familiar with China.

I am going to get shot for writing this. HAHAHAHA! maybe i'll get deported... sounds tremendously exciting.

Leaving

Seeing Chong walk through the automated glass doors of Terminal 1's departure gate delivered a blunt blow straight to my skull.

It was indeed... a preview.
Part of me goes... alison... Aren't you making too big a deal over this?

But I'll be gone. Away from the ones dearest to my heart. I'll be stranded on another land, ill equipped with my meagre grasp of Chinese. How. How can i tear myself away. How. How do i leave with the whole of me, intact. A quiet desperation is starting to creep over me.

Potent lyrics...
Bruised-Jack's Mannequin

I've got my things, I'm good to go
You met me at the terminal
Just one more plane ride and it's done

We stood like statues at the gate
Vacation's come and gone too late
There's so much sun where I'm from
I had to give it away, had to give you away

And we spent four days on an
Island at your family's old hotel
Sometimes perfection can be
It can be perfect hell, perfect...

Hours pass, and she still counts the minutes
That I am not there, I swear I didn't mean
For it to feel like this
Like every inch of me is bruised, bruised
And don't fly fast. Oh, pilot can you help me?
Can you make this last? This plane is all I got
So keep it steady, now
Cause every inch you see is bruised

I lace my Chucks, I walk the aisle
I take my pills, the babies cry
All I hear is what's playing through
The in-flight radio
Now every word of every song
I ever heard that made me wanna stay
Is what's playing through
The in-flight radio, and I
And I am, finally waking up

Hours pass, and she still counts the minutes
That I am not there, I swear I didn't mean
For it to feel like this
Like every inch of me is bruised, bruised
Don't fly fast. Oh, pilot can you help me?
Can you make this last? This plane is all I got
So keep it steady, now
Cause every inch you see is bruised, yeah

So read your books, but stay out late
Some nights, some nights, and don't think
That you can't stop by the bar
You haven't shown your face here since the bad news
Well I'm here till close, with fingers crossed
Each night cause your place isn't far

And hours pass, and hours pass, yeah, yeah
yeah,yeah

She still counts the minutes
That I am not there, I swear I didn't mean
For it to feel like this
Like every inch of me is bruised, bruised
And don't fly fast. Oh, pilot can you help me?
Can you make this last? This plane is all I got
So keep it steady, now
Cause every inch you see is bruised, bruised, bruised

I can't find a picture...

鹊桥仙

鹊桥仙（七夕） 秦观

纤云弄巧,飞星传恨,银汉迢迢暗度.
金风玉露一相逢,便胜却人间无数.
柔情似水,佳期如梦,忍顾鹊桥归路?
两情若是久长时,又岂在朝朝暮暮?

Isn't it beautiful? We should all get in touch with our chinese roots.

Architectural photography

I am blogging every single day!

I feel the onset of a new obsession...

My range as a photographer is painfully limited. Biggest failing? Architectural photography. As i cannot stand to be terribly bad at anything, here goes my attempt to overcome it.

stereotypical girldom

Is it wrong to be emotional? Weak? Feminine? Is it wrong to yearn for an outstretched hand? A warm shoulder? Is it wrong to need? Its wrong to be a girl isn't it? Its wrong to be soft and mushy. Its wrong to be expressive. Its wrong to communicate. Its wrong to look at the micro.

I want to be cool, strong and glossy. I want to be unaffected, emotionless and glassy. I want to be opaque, unapproachable and hard.

I want to be a BAD ASS DUDE!

Thank god i don't try very hard.

I do feel bad though... whenever i commit the heinous crime of succumbing to stereotypical girldom. :(

Its definite

Leaving On A Jet Plane

All my bags are packed I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin' it's early morn
The taxi's waitin' he's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh baby, I hate to go

There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now, they don't mean a thing
Every place I go, I'll think of you
Every song I sing, I'll sing for you
When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time let me kiss you
Close your eyes I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave alone
About the times, I won't have to say

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh baby, I hate to go

Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

For all who have demanded... repeatedly to know my departure date, its confirmed... to a certain extent.

I'm going to Fudan University, China. Orientation starts on the 23rd of august. This means that i will leave before then.

Prior to that, i will be attending an international youth camp held in Russia. I will leave on the 4th of August and return on the 11th.

Yes. Its time. A chapter has closed. Its time to turn the page.

But remember... its still the same book. Its one that is prized and treasured. One that will be re-opened. Over and over again. Its in a new home now... just under your pillow. Even though you can't see it, be assured that it remains safe, snug and close to your thoughts.

Light

Experimenting with different light sources.

虚无

I've been incredibly down these days.

Strange. I don't know why.

虚无。One always laments its existence. However, a void is only noticed when its peripherals are filled up.

They cry out. For you are missing.

They bemoan your absence, by hurting their house.

Lets follow through

As i pick my brain for publicity ideas with regards to NYEC or better known as the National Youth Enviromental Conference, a tiny gray spot appears on the muscle in my body people generally hold responsible for the production of emotions. (don't know why... its not scientific) Yes. emotions. (that nasty thing men generally accuse women of having in excess.)- I apologize for the diversion of my mind.

To get back to the point, the grey spot, like a lethel biological invader inserted itself into my cells and started using my cell's resources to propagate and spread its nasty grey offspring around. These nasty bits needless to say, copied the behaviour of their progenitors and proceeded to infest my emotion generating muscle with an all pervading grey gloom commonly known as despair.

Event after event. There are so many of them! They cry out to the population! Save the enviroment! love your fellow human beings! Lets work together! Lets change this! Lets change that! Save this! Save that! The world will be a better place!

Are they really working? If they are, why are we still combating the rise of usage, pollutants, infectious diseases? Why are we still combating the widening income gap? Why are we still raising funds for the victims of disasters? Please note that if any progress has been made for the past years, rising consumption, widening income gaps, disaster after disaster are not the things we should be combating! Instead, we should be working on reversing the damage. Not stopping or trying to slow our fellow human beings from causing even more damage. We should be working on new methods and habits we can adopt to be friendlier to our world. Not trying to get people to adopt new practices to prevent them from causing more harm with others. Perhaps i'm too anxious. Perhaps the time will come. But now... I cannot help but gasp at the ineffectuality of the endless parade of official sounding events and movements. The main problem is that i cannot see with my own eyes that people are being influenced by these events. I cannot see the visible change that is taking place. People just do not seem to be responding.

However, there is an area that persistently fights against the grey. Yes. Thats the little spot on my emotion generating muscle that holds a potent substance that differentiates me from my dead counterparts. Cheesy as it may sound. Yes alison... Hope had and will always be in our emotion generating muscle... whilst it beats anyway.

Hope is now telling me that these events do have one probable use. Our generation, us. We young people of today have through these events been exposed to so much more than our parents generation. We have come together to discuss ideas, to form plans. To learn from the wisdom of older experts in their fields and in turn infuse their knowledge with our hopeful exuberence. We are the hope of tomorrow. When we take over, we will have the power to put all these into solid, concrete laws, decrees even, plans that we will decide on and carry out. I just pray that it will not be too late then.

But before that, we must respond. Complacency has set in. Whilst water flows when the taps are turned on and food arrives steaming hot on the tables when called, all the knowledge and exposure given seems to lie peacefully at the back of heads, put aside for "when it gets serious", or "when i grow up". This problem is such a serious one, for it is the integral attitude and mindset in it that will influence all our decisions and priorities when we actually do have the power to make great changes. We cannot know what is happening and not follow through with our knowledge. What is the use then? All these events and movements, all put to waste. When we are armed with knowledge, we must follow through by changing them into action. Its so simple. Adopt a child with world vision. Refuse plastic bags. Turn off the tap while you are soaping. Use a cup when brushing your teeth. Use both sides of the paper when printing. Treat everone equally. When something like that is done, all will be worth it. For the mindset of following through and acting on problems has been established. With this attitude, we can rise up to the challenge and set the world straight. We must take that extra step of physically "following through".

I will keep fighting, grey splotch or not, for that one little shiny spot.

I have hope for the world for i have faith in our generation. The platforms have been set. Now lets take them to another level.

For the record: ovary-purpose-helper

Wow. I've been leaving alot of things here these days...
Simply to remind me of the decision i've made regarding the problem.


With regards to the pupose of a female being-helper (its biblical):



Here goes...


Alison, you will be a helper in your future family. You will support and help your husband.
But... everywhere else, you will be a leader in the greatest possible sense.



Happy alison? Now... put aside this issue and think about something more meaningful.