Got my academic referee! PTL!
Thursday 21 January 2010
Sunday 17 January 2010
Saturday 16 January 2010
The end of an era
I am no longer a scholar.
I am no longer an undergrad in Fudan.
I am no longer exclusive with Gerald.
I am no longer a new christian.
I am no longer a teenager.
I wonder if I am moving forward or backward...
I am no longer an undergrad in Fudan.
I am no longer exclusive with Gerald.
I am no longer a new christian.
I am no longer a teenager.
I wonder if I am moving forward or backward...
Wednesday 6 January 2010
The possibility of a different sort of life
Today a good friend of mine reminded me about a pair of high school sweethearts I used to hang out with.
He said that when someone asked the female counterpart about what she wanted to do later in life, she said... "Marry Male counterpart". Such an amazingly secure life they both have. They are currently in university studying to be professionals, assured of financial comfort and emotional success.
It made me reflect on my situation. I'm in Shanghai, my future uncertain and uncomfortable. My poverty has resulted in 1 or 2 meals a day (Bread and cheese for several meals when I really am broke). My future destination is riding on whether or not I get a scholarship from Hong Kong. It’s a scary life. I have about 3 continents between my guy and I. Uncertain professional life, uncertain love life, and a distant idea of home. But … I chose this life. I don’t think I can be fulfilled by anything less than this.
I worry about losing my youth, my talent, my potential. I worry that my brain isn't getting the stimulus it needs.
Its human to dream of different possibilities, I guess that's why I like the Parallel Universe Theory so much.
He said that when someone asked the female counterpart about what she wanted to do later in life, she said... "Marry Male counterpart". Such an amazingly secure life they both have. They are currently in university studying to be professionals, assured of financial comfort and emotional success.
It made me reflect on my situation. I'm in Shanghai, my future uncertain and uncomfortable. My poverty has resulted in 1 or 2 meals a day (Bread and cheese for several meals when I really am broke). My future destination is riding on whether or not I get a scholarship from Hong Kong. It’s a scary life. I have about 3 continents between my guy and I. Uncertain professional life, uncertain love life, and a distant idea of home. But … I chose this life. I don’t think I can be fulfilled by anything less than this.
I worry about losing my youth, my talent, my potential. I worry that my brain isn't getting the stimulus it needs.
Its human to dream of different possibilities, I guess that's why I like the Parallel Universe Theory so much.
Tuesday 5 January 2010
A spiritual calling
I feel like I'm always clutching at straws, trying to feed the various needs that I have.
Christians term that gaping hole we have within us the "God-shaped hole". They say that the emptiness we feel so poignantly can only be filled by god. Perhaps that is true. I guess for non Christians they would rather not call it a god-shaped hole. I believe its a spiritual calling.
As human beings we are always trying to paint the colours of the wind, to attain deep satisfaction from a cup of coffee, to feel something buried in the core of us. Something we cannot grasp physically but we just know exists, that search, that is what makes us different from animals. We turn to religion, to music, to literature in search for that spirituality. Some surface seemingly contented, others bubble with dissatisfaction and pronounced yearning.
Spiritual beings... I like that we are spiritual beings.
Christians term that gaping hole we have within us the "God-shaped hole". They say that the emptiness we feel so poignantly can only be filled by god. Perhaps that is true. I guess for non Christians they would rather not call it a god-shaped hole. I believe its a spiritual calling.
As human beings we are always trying to paint the colours of the wind, to attain deep satisfaction from a cup of coffee, to feel something buried in the core of us. Something we cannot grasp physically but we just know exists, that search, that is what makes us different from animals. We turn to religion, to music, to literature in search for that spirituality. Some surface seemingly contented, others bubble with dissatisfaction and pronounced yearning.
Spiritual beings... I like that we are spiritual beings.
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