望乡-满文军

夕阳河边走 举目望苍穹
渺渺炊烟飘来的是乡愁
多少回朝夕枕幕思念着你哟...

轻松

今天，我挺享受生活的。开心，音乐真美好。觉得变成了我满意的人。轻松，有信心。好像明白了一个道理 －如果自己以足够，就不会害怕，不会着急，不会一直需要对群众证明什么。那样就轻松了。

Learning to love

I have always felt an emptiness within me. I blamed B for not loving me the way I wanted him to. I then blamed J for the same reason. Praying about it to God today, I realise that my desperate need to be loved cannot come from anything of the world. My need for unconditional love can only be met by God, because it was my departure from Him, that put it there.

Today, I tried to break up with J. I have been struggling with our relationship for months. Wondering whether I really loved him, thinking about ending it whenever the going got rough. I never did, until today. Blinded by a whole host of expectations and notions about what "love" should be, I branded our relationship as un-worthy.

Losing J brought up old memories of B, and made me feel that I was unworthy of love. I asked myself what was wrong with me, that both men couldn't sustain their love for me. It was then, when I was on my knees crying out to God, that I realised how my fear of being unworthy of love manifested itself in my relationships - it made the man that I am with feel inadequate, and burdened.

Love is a gift. I have been so selfish in my attempts at love. I demanded to be loved, so that I could feel secure. But I never gave myself to love. Never tried to give my heart as a gift, without expecting anything in return. I saw my love as a transaction, I exchanged it for security. That isn't love. Little wonder I felt like a fraud saying it.

Realising the above, my heart stilled and I realised that I have something good with J. It's not love yet. However this time, instead of asking someone to give me love, I am secure enough to volunteer the potential of it. Thanks for giving me a chance.

Initiating Change

Initiating Change – Alison’s Work/Study Issue

As someone training to become an HR consultant, I have learnt that before any change can be initiated, it is vital to do a forcefield/stakeholder analysis. Learn who are the stakeholders - who is for, who is against, who has the power, and what is their sphere of influence. 

1) Find Change Agents at every level

2) Communicate objectives and expectations to every party involved

3) Ensure two-way communication so as to Get Feedback and Understand Resistance

Objectives:

1) Continue career development throughout grad school - Gain expertise in conceptual work and consulting work

2) Get paid enough to live and save a little, so as to pay off my tuition loans. 

Situation:

Currently working in the HK APAC office. Going to grad school in NY this September. Arranging for me to transfer to the German office so as to reach my objectives. Germany will allow me to work remotely.

Germany is structured differently from HK. Each team is led by a team leader and is responsible for only one type of product/service. In HK, everyone is a generalist. Therein lies several constraints:

1. Each team works separately from others
2. Learning will be limited to the product/service offered
3. Since teams are limited, work for me will also be limited
4. I have only 3 months to be physically present in Germany

Other issues – Working Remotely:

1.  Only development in conceptual work
2. How to get development in consulting work?

Plan to Meet my Objectives: Work for 2 teams, open doors for consulting opportunities

Monday and Tuesday: Team 1

Wednesday and Thursday: Team 2

Friday: Shadow CEO

Problem:

1) Stakeholder Analysis

Stakeholders: CEO, COO, HR, Team Leaders concerned (B.L Questionnaires, Mig AC, Mik Trainings), people who care about keeping me engaged (G)

Pro: Grace, Bastian - Questionnaires

Pro-Neutral: CEO

Neutral: COO, HR, Miguel AC, Mike Trainings

2) Change Agents - How to Influence (Is there a need to do Needs Analysis?)

(Ranked in terms of priority)

CEO: What are his needs? 

• Talents - committed to vision, loyal, capable - quality and quantity
• Organizational Fairness - perception
• He wants GROWTH - how do I give him that?

Influence: 

1. Talents - me (show via actions - Find out how! Shadowing?)
2. Protect Org. fairness - get team leader buy in
3. Growth - San Fran office? Get agreement from Chad

COO: What are his needs?

• Streamline and tidy up operations 
• Get a global system going - clean it up
• Organizational fairness
• Value for Money

Influence: 

1. Operations - not sure. Guinea pig for payment with services method?
2. Protect Org. fairness - get team leader buy in, Show data on cost of living difference in NY VS. Bamberg? (http://www.numbeo.com/cost-of-living/compare_cities.jsp?country1=United+States&country2=Germany&city1=New+York%2C+NY&city2=Nuremberg)
3. Value: I do not know how to show this to Dirk

Miguel AC and Mike Trainings: 

• Need to deliver high quality work on time
• Favour with CEO?
• Reliable, capable talent

Influence:

1. Work and Talent: Send samples of work that I have already done, Commit to doing what it takes - working on weekends if needed, Pull in references from G and T if needed
2. Favour: Get CEO's backing

HR: Needs this to be as easy and as fuss-free as possible. (overworked)

Influence:

1. Hammer out all details before approaching HR with comprehensive list

3) Plan

Details:

Bottom up approach:

• By 4/4: 1) Gain buy-in from Miguel 2) Gain buy-in from Mike 3) Deal with B.L (method stated above - influence TL)
• By 15/4: Gain buy-in from CEO; communicate objectives and expectations. Get Feedback and Understand Resistance: adjust plan accordingly
• May: Get Feedback and Understand Resistance: SHOW work capability, build relationships, adjust plan accordingly
• June: NY plan - influence COO and HR - capitalize on May