Whenever I start every semester in Fudan, a cloak of numbness settles over me. Tight, almost suffocating. I cease the ability to feel for anything that lies outside my closed shanghai world.
Friendships, love, kinship. I stop caring, I stop talking. In their place a thin base of anxiety, desperation and self pity sets in. Here, I'm constantly trying to keep up, to keep everything at bay.
People ask if I like Shanghai. What am I supposed to say? Its my everything when I'm here. I cannot but love it yet for all that it is, I loathe it.
Friendships, love, kinship. I stop caring, I stop talking. In their place a thin base of anxiety, desperation and self pity sets in. Here, I'm constantly trying to keep up, to keep everything at bay.
People ask if I like Shanghai. What am I supposed to say? Its my everything when I'm here. I cannot but love it yet for all that it is, I loathe it.
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