Today in class, we discussed the idea of work and family as ikigai i.e. that which makes our life worth living.
We explored the link between love and money and how these seemingly disparate concepts are inextricably intertwined in our lives. Often, we place monetary values on things that should not have price tags. For example, life insurance, is money a consolation prize for the death of a parent, a sister, a spouse? Can we really put a value to the life of a human being? Dating is also an interesting practice. More often than not, the man pays for the entertainment and the woman is expected to reciprocate with love, or affection or even intimate relations.
We like to think nobly of ourselves, that we are ultimately motivated in our actions by love. Truth is, money is never far behind.
The conversation made me think of my maids. I had two in my life. Wilma, who was around till I was about 13 and Riza who only recently left. Wilma played the role of mother to me, whilst my own mother and father were working. She cooked my meals, brought me to school, took me roller blading and brushed away my tears when they fell. Wilma was not my mother though, she was someone that my parents spent an average of 700 dollars a month to play the role of caretaker, to assume the parental responsibilities that my parents were too busy working to take up.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not bitter and this is not a rant. In fact, I loved Wilma and my life is enriched for her presence in it. I'm just questioning the validity of the statement "I work to financially support my family." How many times have we heard that statement uttered. If so, then family and love seems to be the ikigai of these people. Why then do they spend so much time at work and so little time at home? Why do they use the money that they earned to hire someone else to spend time with and take care of their families, the very thing that is supposed to make their lives worth living? Especially since most of the families that hire maids are upper middle class and above, i.e. families that do not require the surplus cash that more time spent at work provides.
I don't deny though, that love as an excuse would make a lot of people feel much better about themselves. It's odd isn't it, we are socialised to value love and family above money and yet, we are also socialised under capitalism to evaluate social status using money.
All that said, I miss Wilma. I miss the woman that played the role of my mother for 12 years and then quit.
We explored the link between love and money and how these seemingly disparate concepts are inextricably intertwined in our lives. Often, we place monetary values on things that should not have price tags. For example, life insurance, is money a consolation prize for the death of a parent, a sister, a spouse? Can we really put a value to the life of a human being? Dating is also an interesting practice. More often than not, the man pays for the entertainment and the woman is expected to reciprocate with love, or affection or even intimate relations.
We like to think nobly of ourselves, that we are ultimately motivated in our actions by love. Truth is, money is never far behind.
The conversation made me think of my maids. I had two in my life. Wilma, who was around till I was about 13 and Riza who only recently left. Wilma played the role of mother to me, whilst my own mother and father were working. She cooked my meals, brought me to school, took me roller blading and brushed away my tears when they fell. Wilma was not my mother though, she was someone that my parents spent an average of 700 dollars a month to play the role of caretaker, to assume the parental responsibilities that my parents were too busy working to take up.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not bitter and this is not a rant. In fact, I loved Wilma and my life is enriched for her presence in it. I'm just questioning the validity of the statement "I work to financially support my family." How many times have we heard that statement uttered. If so, then family and love seems to be the ikigai of these people. Why then do they spend so much time at work and so little time at home? Why do they use the money that they earned to hire someone else to spend time with and take care of their families, the very thing that is supposed to make their lives worth living? Especially since most of the families that hire maids are upper middle class and above, i.e. families that do not require the surplus cash that more time spent at work provides.
I don't deny though, that love as an excuse would make a lot of people feel much better about themselves. It's odd isn't it, we are socialised to value love and family above money and yet, we are also socialised under capitalism to evaluate social status using money.
All that said, I miss Wilma. I miss the woman that played the role of my mother for 12 years and then quit.
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